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I am a selfish being. I care about others as they have an impact on my quality of life. I tell myself that I do it for their sake, and while it does serve that purpose at the same time, does that absolve me of my intent?
My concern is for her well-being, naturally, and it comes from my own desire as it will never be less than an utterly heartbreaking thing to lose her. She lies down in front of me, perhaps for the last time. I will visit again and always.
I am affected. That’s all I really know how to say. I feel something lurking that knows it shouldn’t be ‘about me,’ and it isn’t, not really. It’s about us as sisters...a bonded pair. What we do affects one another. This can help me to better understand my impact as well.
I feel so close to her, and yet I know there will be a big change coming... in one part of myself. As she lies here winnowing down, I am witness.
I feel for you, Sa, and I don’t want you to leave this life without peace.
Is everything always all about us? It has to be, doesn’t it? As the lens through which we interact with reality and consciousness, it seems like it would have to be true.
I will see you off on your journey. I will stand here forever if that is what you need. I can tell even though you make no sound. Eternal journey. Endless visit.